A long time ago
in Japan I fell into a terrible depression, I stopped taking care of myself, I
could sit in my pajamas all day, not wash for 2-3 days. I didn't even brush my
teeth. And then there came a time when I didn't even feel like living.
When she found
out about my condition, my friend, a Japanese woman, took me to a clinic. She
said they had an interesting procedure after which your life changes, as if you
were born again. She came to pick me up and I left, just like I was in my
pajamas and slippers. I showed up at the clinic in this condition. In Japan,
they don't pay attention to appearance at all. If you want, go naked. They
don't care. Everyone is busy with their own thoughts. They don't have the habit
of being interested in people in public transport or on the street. They are
such free people.
We arrived, I
filled out some form. I go in and look - there is a coffin in the middle of the
room. The doctor asked a few questions and gave me some funeral clothes. I
changed, they told me to lie down to get an idea of what it was like to be
dead, and when I wanted to get out, I just had to press the button and they
would open it for me.
I lay down. There
was a strange smell inside, but they had sprayed it with air freshener. Soft
satin. Bright color. Pearl on the edge. I lay down and looked at the coffin.
Funeral music was playing inside. A faint light was coming through the cracks.
At one point I
felt as if I was being taken out and loaded into a car. I started pressing the
button. It fell apart in my hands. I started to get indignant, to scream that I
hadn’t paid for this. And in general, were they not being nerdy? We traveled
for about 10 minutes. I started to get a little out of breath. Then I heard the
command: “Let’s go down.” And I felt myself being lowered into the ground with
a rope. And I began to hear lumps of dirt pounding on the lid of the coffin.
And the voices began to become more and more muffled. I began to scream
hysterically at the top of my lungs. I swore. A million thoughts ran through my
head. Apparently I had come across sectarians. And now they were burying me
alive. Hating foreigners. And most likely my Japanese friend was their
accomplice. I thought about how I wanted to kill her. They really were burying
me!
I began to scream
even louder, like a pig in a slaughterhouse, to kick my feet. And the worst
thing was that I began to suffocate. I was sobbing and tears were running down
my cheeks. Because of the cramped conditions, I couldn't even wipe my face. I
lay as stiff as a tree. I thought to myself: "God, I don't want to
die."
It was terribly
cramped there. Stifling. My world began to spin. I felt like I was getting
cold. “The earth is cold,” I thought. I cried for 20 minutes. And I was already
losing consciousness.
Past images
flashed before my eyes. How I gave birth and held my daughter in my arms. Her
first steps. Oh, God, I had completely forgotten about my daughter. Because of
depression.
I remembered that I had stopped calling my mother. I thought: “Life is so wonderful, wonderful!”. And here I am dying in the coffin. And my beloved Japanese people are killing me. Whom I worshipped so much.
And suddenly the
lid opened. I was still in the same room. And the funeral turned out to be just
a computer simulation. I cried for another 10 minutes. I barely calmed down.
And my girlfriend was giggling from the side. They gave me a video of my
“death.” There were cameras in the coffin and they recorded everything.
After this procedure, I lost weight, I became more beautiful. I loved life and it never crossed my mind that I didn't want to live. And I don't have depression anymore. I don't want to be there anymore. I want to be here and now. That's right! You will love life too.
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