A Woman's Infidelity

 

     I read a story of a man who said he cheated and his wife didn't notice. I've been married for fifteen years and I want to tell mine. I've cheated five times. It wasn't impulsive or romantic. It was something I learned over time—through observation, judgment, copying, and refinement.

     The first time my husband cheated on me, I was thirty and we had been married for five years. I found out about it one night by accident—not from text messages, but because he came home wearing a shirt I hadn't ironed and a scent that wasn't his. He said he was from a date. The next day, everything was confirmed by bank transactions and a call that came while he was in the shower.

     I cried, screamed, packed my bags, kicked him out. I slept with a girlfriend for a week. He came back with flowers, a long apology, and a weekend trip. I accepted. Not because I believed him, but because I needed time.

     Two years later, it happened again. This time it was different. I wasn’t surprised anymore. I knew the signs: the phone always with the screen down, the “overtime work,” the sudden mood swings for no reason. When I confronted him with the truth, I didn’t cry the same way anymore. I put on the same old show because I realized that’s exactly what worked for me. He reacted the same way: gifts, an expensive watch, promises, dinner, trips. I accepted it all. And that night, while he slept peacefully, believing that everything was fine, I made a decision. 

     My first infidelity was cold. Planned. It wasn’t with someone close to me, it wasn’t someone I could meet in my daily life. It was someone who didn’t ask questions. I met him at a party. No one suspected anything. I continued to play my role: a wife who was present, a house in order, a family I cared about. And I learned something – women lie differently. We don’t leave a trace. We don’t change our routine. We don’t give up on anything.

     Then came more infidelity - always after I found out about one of his. Every time he made a mistake, I waited. I watched. I let him apologize, take me shopping, give me jewelry, or suggest a trip so we could “get back together.” I accepted. And months later, without the drama or the scene, I did the same thing he did, but better hidden.

     I never use my phone for that kind of thing. I never change my schedule. I never neglect the home, the kids, or my appearance. I learned that men lie to escape, and women lie to hold on. He lied to keep doing what he wanted. I lied to keep my life in check.

     Today, we’re still married. The family thinks we’ve been through tough times and gotten through them. He thinks I’m the kind of woman who forgives. I know he's still cheating, but he's never doubted me. Not because he's naive, but because I've never given him a reason. I've never let my guard down. 

❓ What would you say to this woman if she were in front of you?

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