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    August 14, Monday

    August 14, Monday


    How did you fall in love with him? 
    I don't know, we were talking...

                                                August 14, Monday


      Before lunch, at 10.30.
                            
     - I'm here.
       Good morning, darling, how are you today?
       I will work on the project at home.                

                                  -Good morning! What a morning, it's already noon (just kidding). I've been up since 6 in the morning. Can you tell me briefly what project this is? And I await your decision.

                                  - Okay, I understand, you don't feel like talking, I wish you a fruitful job.
                             
    - Thanks. But can we talk about something.
                         
                                   - What's up again? What excites you right now?
                                   - He wanted to talk about something. Did you give up?

    After few minutes:
       
    -Never mind maybe you are not interested   

       What's up with this guy? He calmly writes "my dear" and "I love you" to me, but doesn't tell me what he needs, any help, kind words, what? And disappeared. It's offline. Until the evening, and until about midnight.
     
                                   -Why do you think so? Shouldn't you ask me if I'm interested first? And my proposal from yesterday, have you considered it? Do you need more time? Because I'm ready with my proposal.
      
    - You know why you are talking too me like this? 
     
                                   -To know. Because I feel something is wrong. I sense that your thoughts are confused. You're not being honest, you're not asking me if I'm interested. You don't tell me what your intention is.
        
    - It's fine. Naver mind. So tell me how was your day my dear?   

                                   - My day went very well. Actually, a day like any other. I left you to work on your new project. I didn't bother you. Did you actually read everything I wrote to you? If you haven't had time to read it calmly, do so.
       
    - Yes, I had. I also replied to your message with a ❤️ when I saw it. Did you forget? When you talk about my page do you really want to help me with
                                   - Yes, I want to help. Do not you believe me? Please re-read what I wrote to you. About my idea. For your Facebook fan page.

    We repeated the same thing, several times, and it was already past midnight. He is clearly feeling the soil.

    - And how can I be sure I'm the only one you talk to like that? Tell me.
      
       It began. Looking for some pretext, for something, but for what? Either he wants to tell me something, but he can't, or he doesn't know how to do it.

                                     - No, I don't understand what you want to tell me, but it doesn't matter. Do you know what time it is now? No, that's not my question. It's just too late, that is, it's already too early.
                         
    - Yes, I know, my dear, it's past midnight here, and it's already early morning. It's 02:38 am. Exactly.  

       So we are in the same time zone. Where does he live, in which country? It doesn't tell me anything. When I ask him, though not quite directly, he brushes my question aside as if he hadn't read it.
                                    
                                    - Ok, thanks for the answer. Now I suggest we get some sleep. Do you agree? People need sleep at night.

    - I agree with you. But you will sleep now and I will sleep when I finish some papers, I have to work on my computer.    

                                    -Please let me write this. Please read it several times if necessary. Before I fell asleep that night I realized something very important to me. I hope it will be useful for you too. You know, I want to frame our virtual communication. I do not seek any benefits from this communication of ours. And you should do the same. Now I know that sharing with a stranger has great benefits. Because you share with the familythey will feel sorry for you. If you share with friends, they will enjoy your misery because they are not real friends.
    Please allow me to share with you my daily life. I don't need anything more. I believe you, like everyone else, need it. Please share with me what excites you. I am sure we will benefit greatly from this virtual friendship of ours.
    Very often I do not sleep through the night. It's not normal. And I know why that is. But I have no one to share it with. I don't want others to experience my suffering with me. Someday will you let me share with you what I feel? And as always I will apologize. Please. I'm sorry, I didn't mean to disturb you.
        
    - Thanks for sharing ❤️ You are loved in my heart ❤️ I was hoping to hear how you feel about me sooner.
           But I really need to know that we are good together.
          
                                    - Don't you sleep like me? It shouldn't be like that.
       
    - Ok, love you, goodnight!
          
                                    - Please let me write to you every day. Every evening. I don't want to interfere with your daily chores. I only ask to share and feel your empathy. Or the reassurance that someone is with me. Thank you for that.
        
    - Ok love ❤️
           
                                    -Amazed me! Why aren't you in bed You're making me think we're soulmates more and more. By the way, what sign are you from? If it's no secret what month were you born in?
         
    - I was born on September 22, 1990.    

         This is the birthday of that young and famous Turkish actor. Then I read his biography.

                                    -On the 4th Saturday of 1990. Your life path number is 5. Your zodiac sign is Libra with ruling planet Venus, your birthstone is sapphire. Ooooh, Venus, trouble with women! You will always have a problem with women. Either you won't understand them, or they will understand you.
       
    - Hmm aww thank you.
        
                                    -I was born at the beginning of April 1988. Diamond is the birthstone for people born in April. This stone represents eternal love and is well known in many cultures. This stone is often associated with faith, honesty, eternal love, innocence and eternal peace. I am sending you my pictures.
        
    - This is beautiful   
                                 
                                     - A little more and I will wish you "Good morning!". Have a successful and fruitful day!
      
    - Ok I have too get too bed. Bye, love you!
       
                                     -Thanks! No one has told me that in a long time!

     - You are so beautiful and sexy sweet darling and I will never hurt you with love.

      I saved something here. Later, in addition to the compliment that I was beautiful, he wrote to me that I speak, understand, write like an "old woman". I'm not old. I've been through a lot. Many tragic moments, much grief and sadness.
                                     
                                     -How do you know? Don't talk like that, you know nothing!
                             
    - Ok, fine 🥺 I know nothing.
         
                                     - You answer correctly. You never know anything. Everything is a hidden picture. Have a restful day, may it be fruitful.
                                    
                                     - Are you still not sleeping? It's 7:54 a.m. I watered the flowers, fed the street cats, swept the yard, drank my first coffee (imitation coffee, herbal because I don't drink coffee) and now I can do whatever I want. Until tonight!
      
       And so until the morning. By 7:54 a.m. I would have looked him in the eye if I could. I was going to find out if it was. Because words sometimes lie, but eyes always express the truth. But how did I feel?
       For the past 12 years I have lived hoping that someone would notice the good and the good in me. He, the stranger, did it.
       If they ask me what feeling I consider the most beautiful or the most important, I will smile and answer: whatis mutual, the shared feeling.


     
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